Andrew's Journal

Schadenfreude is not befitting of you

2007-03-21T02:10:52Z

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Yes, I am still alive; just very busy. So, let's hit the highlights of past few months.

Chen and I have taken up fencing (just foil right now) and are having a blast. It is nice to get out on a regular basis, get some nice exercise and hone the skills that are associated with the sport (balance, timing, reading of your opponent among others). I am doing quite well and feel much more relaxed now that I have started this activity (especially since it is very difficult to get in a good, vigorous run at my current location during the winter months). I will post some photos of my more recent bouts soon.

Work is quite interesting right now--many things have occurred lately. I have been continuously assigned to more and more tasks (I am relatively confident now that they will soon discover that I am, indeed, a hack) requiring me to take on some serious responsibility. Actually, I am thoroughly enjoying it as it provides me the opportunity to demonstrate some more leadership rolls. That and I feel I have developed quite a rapport with many of the employees, enabling a good working relationship. The program managers are respecting me more and more every day (due to my ceaseless effort and occasionally having a good idea that doesn't cost several thousands of dollars or break something in the process). We recently underwent a reorganization (only six months in the making of that bad boy), and I was cross listed under about 4 different places -- I am lead of nuclear safety in the company, very high level in performance analysis (and I am lobbying to get an intern this summer) and I am also listed under Data Acquisition Systems engineering. The big change for me was that I have been assigned to the overall "Engineering" division (as opposed to a specific program) and that I now report directly to somebody who has taken a true interest in my well-being (both personal and professional) over the past two years. Very good changes for me there.

I took a few days off in January so Chen and I were able to take a long weekend in Chicago. That was actually a lot of fun--except for all the insane Saints fans that filled the hotel. I was pretty much ordered by several individuals (including the president of the company) to take some vacation time. Seeing how I had been working without time off for over 13 months, including a substantial amount of overtime in December and January, I felt it was a good time to take a few days for myself. We went to the Windy City and hit all our past favorite hot spots: Lao Sze Chuan restaurant in Chinatown, Teuscher chocolates on Michigan Ave, some shopping in the Water Tower as well as the biggies on Michigan Ave. All the goodies, very relaxing.

Work got interesting in February. Seeing the writing on the wall, I began looking for the management to show their hand--letting me see a round of layoffs. That was an interesting event. I had not been exposed to that before, nor was I expecting a few of the people who left. I was not concerned about my own job as I am the only person there who does 3 or 4 different things, but I couldn't help feeling the absolute depression on morale there. Luckily, the recent reorganization seems to have put a breath of fresh air into the employees, if only for the moment.

Chen and I have been looking for a house for the past few weeks. What a venture this is turning out to be. We have found several nice houses (near perfect), but she drags her feet just long enough that somebody else snags it first. But, I aim to please my wife, so we move on to the next group, hoping to find the one that she will deem perfect.

Now, looking to the upcoming events, I notice that we few from Marquette have a reunion coming up this summer. And as my luck would be, that is just the time that I have been assigned to a training team to head over to Idaho and get prepped on their equipment. Now, I have nothing against Idaho (yet), but if this place is run like the other labs I have visited, I am not hoping for much. So I must send my apologies to my previous classmates (y'all know who you are) that I will fail to be there. However, not to be denied some vacation time, Chen and I are planning a nice jaunt out to Phoenix this May to visit both my grandparents and her cousin (the same who's wedding we attended in Hawaii). That should be fun time, plus it gets us to another national park. Chen and I are trying to visit as many of the national parks as possible. Thus far we are up to about 6, but we have hopes of knocking out another 5 or so this year.

Fun and exciting time are afoot. Let's see how things pan out over the next few weeks.

Oouf.

2006-10-13T22:47:22Z

Things have not been going as well as I had hoped. I'm constantly exhausted after coming home from work and I have been getting more than my fair share of colds recently. But a whole host of events have transpired lately.

Chen and I are having a great time at our fencing class. She thinks it's a gas that she can stab me as hard as she wants. Retaliation--which I hadn't given much thought to--is pretty much meaningless as women are required to wear a chest protector. I feel quite comfortable adapting to the fencing mindset--perhaps it is the strategy and forethought that is required, but I find it thoroughly more enjoyable that just some simple mindless physical exertion. I will do my best to get photos of the activities.

Work took an interesting turn recently. As it sits, I have been getting trained for field service of our generators in addition to my current duties. This alone puts my workload over the top, seeing as how the V.P. and I are at odds over what my role should be. I was just biding my time until the final design reviews for the two major programs were complete before I butted heads with him again. However, today I find (in addition to more responsibilities of a program management view) that my coworker will be leaving in two weeks. This introduces two very important issues: 1) I will be taking over his primary duties, meaning that I will have even less time for those other damned projects for which VP apparently thinks that I am the only possible person to work. And 2) I will be the only nuclear safety analyst at the company, thus putting a substantial amount of power in my hands in regards to any negotiations with the VP.
Now, I'm not one to try to hamstring the company (I do feel a profound sense of loyalty to a number of the people there), but I also have absolutely no qualms about leaving in a heartbeat if I feel I am not getting the short end of the stick from the upper management. Of course, the VP keeps trying to play some management version of slight-of-hand by side stepping any of my points with "it's good to be wanted by different programs." Yes, it is good job security to have the skills in demand by all the programs, but it isn't good for morale or job satisfaction when working on some of those programs involve a few key individuals or that you have been working 10-12 hours per day every day for the past 7 months (in addition to working most weekends and every holiday I can remember). I think the last day off I had was in April.
Don't get me wrong here--there are a substantial amount of people there who do respect me and the work I do; and I appreciate that--even the guy who keeps trying to send me as a site representative to Idaho (apparently the U.P. and Idaho are equivalent environments). I have been busting my ass getting the work done because that is what I am paid to do--bucking for the promotion is secondary issue. But with my experience, connections with the DOE and a top secret clearance pretty much allows me to get another job quickly should I so desire.

Bah--I just like to rant occasionally.

mandlebrot @ 2006-10-05T19:05:00

2006-10-05T23:23:21Z

Convienently ganked from a friend:

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
John Hazy-Morn
Yeah, I think I would be killed quickly with that one.

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Emil KitKat
That's not gonna work.

3. YOUR RAP NAME (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
ALean
Hmm.

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Blue Turtle

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
John Norway
I think that one might work.

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Leaasi Ham
That's just plain disturbing.

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Nhoj Isamot
Wasn't that guy in episode 2?

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Yorik Wright
Uh, no.

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)
The Blue Ford.

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME: (first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate)
Jason Chop

11. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name )
John Marie
Yeah; they're gonna find me with that one.

Family

2006-09-17T21:55:39Z

I've been lurking about over the past couple weeks I have seen a few posts regarding families -- and focusing on the relationship with the parents. This feeds directly into my thoughts over the past few months regarding my father.

I've never known my father beyond what is written on my birth certificate; that is to say, I know his name. During my tumultuous years growing up in Michigan, I felt an obvious void where a father would be. My only brother left home when I was still rather young, and so I was left through my formative period without any male role model, as it were. I would see many of my friends and how they were able to interact with both parents. Truthfully, I would long for such interaction. Don't get me wrong here--my mother did her very best to ensure that I had a proper upbringing, and for that I am eternally grateful to her. But there are just some things for which a teen-aged boy needs a father.

In the past few years, I have made large strides to become what I'd like to think is an emotionally well-adjusted individual. And for years I was convinced that I was able to overcome any deficiencies that arose from the lack of a father, but was I just trying to rationalize taking the easy path? The past few months I have began thinking of looking up my father -- I mean, it isn't difficult to find people these days. I have been considering taking a few days in early December and trotting out to northern California to see my father. However--is the best course of action for me? Does simply knowing the man who happens to be my father suddenly make me a better person? Is there some connection which is mysteriously supposed to be established in this instance? I am at a loss to answer these, for I am coming from a reference frame where the knowledge, or even existence, of a father is immaterial and glaringly absent. Then again, is all this inner conflict just a mechanism to delay any action on my part? I am not sure what to expect, nor what I hope to accomplish, by meeting my father--except to be able to answer that nagging "what if" voice.

Odds & Ends

2006-08-20T02:12:25Z

We are under an insane amount of pressure at work right now. We have a Final Design Review for our newest space generator (the MMRTG) coming up in early October. Of course, this means that all reports should be submitted to our customer and the Department of Energy one month prior to FDR. My specific work involves Nuclear Safety, Gas Management and System Performance Analysis. The nuclear safety isn't a problem and I have already completed (sort of--I'll get to that shortly) the System Performance Analysis. However, the gas management requires substantial labwork still. When asked by my boss when I can get the report to our customer, I had to give him the truth. If I am not hit with any other projects (a HUGE if), if I can dedicate all my time to the experiments, if I can have complete control over at least one lab technician, if I am able to work no fewer than 16 hours per day and if I can get the majority of the report framed and written before the experiments are completed, then I can have the report ready for release to our customer on September 18th. Yeah, that's gonna happen.

I have been continuously sidetracked onto other projects by other programs, which makes it extremely difficult to get consistent work done. After having a bit of a fight with one program manager (I believe I scared the intern next to my desk when I was yelling things like "What bullshit is this you're trying to peddle?"), I got called in by the vice president to have a discussion about my time. Yeah, that makes sense--take an hour of time from the guy who is overworked and has insufficient time to complete his tasks. Apparently, after I pissed off the program manager, he went to the VP to bitch about my inability to work on his proposal. The VP decides issuing a edict to all program managers and project engineers instructing them, in no uncertain terms, to stay the hell away from me will solve this problem. This really does nothing to aid in the reduction of my workload, but the VP feels good about it, so that's something I guess.

Working on the gas management experiments, I have now developed a great distaste for the young techs working on the MMRTG program. You see (ha, I say you as though I have an actual audience), I have a apparatus set-up that uses a stainless steel plate that is bolted to my test fixture with stainless steel bolts. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but when you heat stainless steel, it likes to seize and bind to itself. This is well known in the industry, but apparently forgotten (or ignored) by people not listening to the experience available at my office! It was rather interesting trying to explain to my manager that I knew what I was doing when he saw me standing over my apparatus with a damned hack saw. Hey, I got the fixture removed and working again and I have replaced all the bolts with regular, non-special, steel bolts (not stainless).

And to cap off what was a fun week, I am sitting at my desk trying to complete an analysis so I can issue my recommendation to a different program manager regarding a course of action on one of our vendors who totally fucked up a job when my phone rings. "818" area code? Who do I know in "818" who is not on my phone's memory (that is, everybody at Pratt-Whitney Rocketdyne)? Ahhh, it was the Jet Propulsion Laboratory calling. Oh joy! I'd say "woe is me," but screw that. I get some researcher who is calling about one of my reports--written on June 2. 10 weeks and you finally decide to ask about it now? WTF? Not only that, but all his questions were explicitly answered in the first three pages of the report. I'd say that I need to take a vacation, but there is no way in hell that I am getting that approved until November (at which time the FDR for my other program will take place). (whimper). In other news at the job front, I am apparently being groomed for promotion to program management (which is quite high on the company totum). This would be interesting, to say the least.

And the goat you road in on!

2006-06-01T00:29:02Z

To all those out there: yes, I am still alive. I have just been terribly busy with both work, fighting some really irritating individuals at immigration and evading gators. Since it has been quite some time since I have last updated everybody to the wonderful doldrums that are the events of my life, I shall give some details here.

Work
Apparently placing a request for new hires with extreme requirements on experience is not a good way to get replacements. For the past 5 months, I have been doing the job of 2 - 3 people; and it is starting to take a bit of a toll on me. At last count, I have no fewer than 8 primary functions at work, including, but not limited to, Nuclear Safety Analysis, Reliability Analysis and Thermoelectric Performance Analysis. This is tiring beyond reason. I don't mind working a bit more than is required, but putting in no fewer than 10 hours each day is getting ridiculous. Unfortunately, I don't foresee any near term relief. However, if all goes well in the next few months, I should be complete with the two final design reviews and the primary work on the new multi-watt program should be winding down to all a small break of a week or so. Unfortunately, my status precludes most foreign travel (I need to get briefed before I even go to Canada!). We both enjoy the national parks, so I am thinking either Smokey Mountains or Glacier National Park.

Immigration
Though I cannot advocate any violence or malevolence against federal employees, I can't say that I would be aghast if something bothersome were to happen to those more irritating individuals. I applied, on behalf of my dear wife, for a greencard over two years ago. We had an interview for the greencard in August. When we haven't heard anything, we go downtown to have a little chat and determine the holdup. I'm thinking that they screwed up the paperwork and a delay exists, or perhaps they aren't satisfied with all the records we provided. No, no. They are still awaiting the results of a name verification. WTF? Name verification? I can get the FBI, DOE and OPM to do full and extensive background checks on me and all my known associates (Yes, they even got you!), but the INS takes 8 months to verify my wife's name? Government furnished birth records, passport and U.S. certified immigration papers are apparently insufficient. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. The biggest problem with this crap is that we can't move to a better place, or even (hope beyond hope) into a house until this is all resolved as (here is my favorite part) the post office will not forward immigration documents. That's right, a government agency will not forward legitimate government mail. Huh? Of course, all this delay means that we needed to submit another application for Chen's Employment Authorization Document for no less than $180 for a year. Just breaking that down seems a bit asinine: you pay the government $180 to get a card that allows you to work and pay taxes to further support that agency. Yay, where do I sign up?

Dodging Gators
In what world is it a good idea to build and maintain important facilities next to a gator pond? I spent last week in central Florida (both at Kennedy Space Center and Orland for training). Driving from the payload facility to the RTG facility, I was a bit surprised to see no fewer than three alligators basking on the banks. More surprising was the fact that there were several KSC personnel jogging next to the gators. I must comment on KSC security--it is pretty much non-existent. Yes, I had a special pass issued for me at the I.D. Office, but once I passed the main gate, I was able to go anywhere I wanted with pretty much no questions asked. I wanted to check out the new modules for the space station? Walk up them in the high-bay room. Want to see where the space shuttle is assembled, I walked up to, and in, the VAB with no problem (the shuttle was already on the launch pad for the 5 week check-out period).
I must also point out that Orlando in late May really does suck. Yes, I know, I am a bit more of a northern type guy who enjoys the cooler weather, but 98 and sticky is just bad no matter who you ask. I must also point out that no matter the architect, having a hotel room with the entire front wall made of glass is not smart. You see, single-pane glass is very good at transmitting sound, whereas a wall filled with oh, say insulation, is much better at staying quiet when you have Disney World hating teens wandering around at 1 am! Also, can anybody explain to me how providing an iron and ironing board can be considered part of a "resort fee"?

Yes, I know, I complain a bit too much. Bare it. I promise that my next adventure to the INS (I am thinking late June) will be well documented to all those who may be interested.

Hiatus Interruptus

2006-03-07T02:56:22Z

I realize I haven't posted in about a month; and to the 2 or 3 semi-regular visitors, I do apologize. Apparently, my company is either trying to force me to quit or seeing if they can skirt a few labor issues by tripling my workload.

Actually, I have been working some serious overtime -- and I have to say 12 hour days do not, in any sense of the word, rock. Due to a few ill-timed resignations and retirements, I have taken on a substantial amount of additional work. My manager is a bit sympathetic to the situation; and we get along quite well -- he, too, went to Michigan Tech; woo, go Huskies! He also loves my attitude and alacrity (his words). Actually, I think he really enjoys my standard response to the workload: "it needs to get done, so I'll do it." The thing that confuses me is that although I have one official manager, I actually report to 4 different people depending on what project I am working. This alone is problematic, but now I have certain managers trying to slot my time to fit their projects.

Yay, though I walk through the valley of managers, I shall fear no supervision.

Actually, things are going pretty well for my work. I have just issued a major report, one more is about to be approved, and a third is in the works (I foresee 2 weeks work left on that bad boy). Once the Final Design Review comes up, I will be all prepared to dazzle the government boys with my r33+ skillz. And pending the completion of that beast, I will be pumped to relax for my other Final Design Review. Finish that and move onto a third project that will be entering the Preliminary Design Review stage and I will be able to take a break. Or I'll be a festering corpse in need of being scraped off the chair. I'm willing to start taking bets.

Now back to your regularly scheduled workaholic; I'm addicted to workahol.

Best Buy's Bestest Buyers

2006-02-06T02:28:01Z

Chen wanted to hit Best Buy and one of its many splendid sales this morning. We go there only to find a rather long and fiercely slow line ready for us. We stand in line for a couple of minutes before the enormity of the situation finally dawns on me. In front of us is a woman who I can only assume regularly bathes in potpourri, and not in a good way. It was a rather pungent odor wafting back towards us. We tried to distance ourselves a little, but the rather unpleasant pickled cabbage dude behind us was none too appealing. This was the fun beginning of the day--of course, it got better, but nothing too riveting occurred.

Go ahead, make my day.

2006-01-30T01:44:56Z

I am having a very difficult time at work lately. The work itself is fine; in fact, it is rather mundane right now--and that is OK. I have exciting work I am doing as well as a bunch of menial, yet important, tasks I took over from the recent resignation of our performance analyst. So, the crux of this is that I am very busy taking all these tasks together. My manager would prefer that I not get overloaded, freak out and quit, hamstringing the company by removing the primary reliability, performance and nuclear safety knowledge in the company. I can appreciate his position in all this--but he was trying to have a lot of my new tasks getting picked up by a thermal analyst. That is fine normally, but this analyst is not allowed to see or do the large majority of my tasks for various reasons.

So, I am here with my tasks. I have outlined all of my work in the next two months, assigned it a priority level, sent it to the necessary program managers and told them all that I am currently either on schedule or ahead of it. This was by no means an invitation for more work (especially when I need to prepare a rather unsavory presentation for the DOE), but just a declaration that I am on top of everything and that I will not fall behind. Of course, this is right about the time that the shit hits the fan.

On Friday I learned that my company won a new contract. Not huge, but important. Of course, this means a new program manager--who apparently thinks that being named program manager bestows some magical priority need on his project, such that he can try to commandeer any and all personnel for his work. With only two people in the building who can do performance predictions (and one being far too busy to do his bidding), I have been trying to parry all this program manager's advances. More accurately, I am trying to get him to understand that although he is in charge of that program, he doesn't need everything right now, nor does he get priority on my time when work still remains on our primary projects. In fact, his newest kick is trying to get me to do some massive overtime--as in, ya really don't need to spend the weekend with your wife style overtime. I'm all about putting in more effort at the office when it will help the company meet all its goals and deadlines, but I am not about to sacrifice my entire family life for the company; especially when I don't foresee anybody getting hired and up to speed who can alleviate some of my overload for at least 6-9 months. Yeah, just that much fun.

Random Musings

2006-01-22T00:02:52Z

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mandlebrot!

Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by mandlebrot.
The first mandlebrot was made in 1853, and had no pedals.
A thimbleful of mandlebrot would weigh over 100 million tons!
The eye of an ostrich is bigger than mandlebrot.
Mandlebrot is actually a mammal, not a fish.
A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and mandlebrot.
All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by mandlebrot!
Mandlebrot can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour.
Mandlebrot can sleep with one eye open.
Mandlebrot will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.

Come on, prove me wrong!

Better late than never.

2006-01-06T01:39:27Z

That is, of course, unless you have absolutely no interest in what I have to say. Then again--why are you here?

We got back from Hawaii Saturday and have been extremely busy getting everything done here (work deadlines and the such: gearing up for two different Final Design Reviews at the same time is very taxing on a person). The vacation was fabulous: got some good snorkling in, hiking and putzing around on a ship (whales and whatnot). Of course, two days got eaten in wedding preparations (Chen's cousin got married in Waikoloa), and I was designated Best Man shortly before we left for Hawaii. Whole lotta preparations and plans needed to be done, and lest I let the bride indiscriminately behead people, I volunteered to make all final arrangements (which wasn't too bad until the florist totally screwed the pooch).

Really, it was a great time; met some interesting people, got to hike quietly on the volcano and snorkel in a nice, clear reef. Good food and relaxing times. Now, it is time to return to the dredges of work and get my three projects done before the month is out.

I will most likely post again soon (once I have been able to take a breath from everything).

Eviscerate the proletariate!

2005-12-14T23:22:26Z

I am about 3 inches from going postal at work.
Things have been getting a wee bit insane with my workload; not to mention the ever changing job description. I was originally hired as a Nuclear Safety Engineer. Sounds scary, but I was in charge of designing and creating a program that would analyze all accident scenarios for a future space mission. OK--seems straightforward. After about a year, I get the opportunity to work on the reliability assessment of another project. Cool, great, Wunderbar! I get to add another important task to my portfolio--a rather nice feather in my cap, if you will. Now, in addition to my current responsibilities, I am assigned to performance analysis of the generator. Only there is a problem: the program that is required to do this work is missing and the work needs to be done very quickly.

Going on vacation in just over a week, and several tasks need to be completed prior to my departure. Yay.

Holidays & Weddings

2005-12-12T22:21:28Z

Oh, what a busy time this has been for us here.

Chen and I are readying everything for our vacation to Hawaii. Since she is the maid-of-honor at the wedding, she is now fretting about a toast she will give. Being the supportive husband, I get to try to help her--which usually means that she sketches down a few ideas regarding what she wants to say, and I get to re-write it for clarity. Not that I mind (I rather enjoy writing), but I do have reservations regarding her ability to commit the toast to memory in such a short time. Chen gets a bit nervous when presenting/speaking in English.

We are still making all the fun arrangements for our activities in Hawaii. This will be the first Christmas in many a year where I don't cook some sort of feast. I feel conflicted about this--I rather enjoy preparing large meals, but I also feel I will enjoy the luau in its stead.

Office Christmas parties are interesting when you get a large assortment of engineers together. We went to a Christmas party this past weekend (hosted by a program manager), and it is an odd gathering when damn near everybody else has a good 25 years on you. Ah, yes, the wonders of the workplace.

Vacation Planning

2005-12-06T02:45:56Z

I really am looking forward to my upcomming vacation--though I am not too enthralled about planning all the details. Spending Christmas in Hawaii should be interesting: no Christmas turkey/ham this year---going for the Christmas Luau. Plans are currently in place for a rousing venture of snorkling (with my dear wife who knows nothing about snorkling), horseback riding, and hoping not to get lost whilst trekking about the volcano. Sounds like a good time--of course, I need to get to that point without my work killing me. I am not having fun trying to write a report when the damned design is not finalized! Oh, what fun I am having.

I would also like to send a general Screw You to Elsevier. I need to complete some radiation calculations for a project. I don't have the proper conversion tables (and trust me, these tables, which have been established for quite some time, are not widely available). I convince my company to allow me to order them. I am told that "Oh, these are our foreign imports---it will take 4-6 weeks." Sure, I think. No problem. That was 2 months ago. Are they shipping this damned book by pack mule?

Ah, I am just bitter--I can't figure out this damned problem.

Oy Vey.

2005-12-02T02:47:47Z

I must apologize to all my friends out there who may actually read my journal--I have been a wee bit too busy lately with seemlingly impossible tasks. My favorite one came down this week. The project manager calls me and asks me to determine the rationale used for a decision he made two years before I was hired. Yay--I love this kind of task. Seriously, that kind of task rocks! How the hell does he know if I am wrong with my findings?
Other than that, I have been in some form of back pain purgatory. My lower back has been on fire the past week (and spending many an hour in the kitchen preparing the Thanksgiving feast did nothing to help). At least I can sort of hide at the office and just relax in my chair. Unfortunately, I have been extremely busy trying to get this damned report finished (I have my reputation as a freakishly fast worker to uphold there). So, in the interest of getting something in this update, here is something I ganked from another site (with my own responses, naturally).

HAVE YOU EVER

Smoked a cigarette or tried it:
A couple times. Though I do prefer cigars.

Crashed a friend's car:
Who needs to do that to a friend's when mine is available? No.

Been dumped:
Oh, most definately.

Shoplifted:
Youthful indiscretions.

Been fired or laid off:
No--close on one, though.

Been in a fist fight:
It has been a while, but yeah. Actually, the last fight I was in did not require the use of my fists (my head is suprisingly strong).

Snuck out of your parent's house:
Not really my style. That, and I never felt the desire/need to do so.

Been arrested:
Nope. And let's hope it stays that way.

Gone on a blind date:
Not really. Group of friends and such precludes it from being a date.

Lied to a friend:
Yes, though not my finer times.

Skipped school:
Most certainly.

Seen someone die:
No.

Been to Canada:
Once or twice. Nothing too exciting, unless you get all hot and bothered about milk in a bag (I actually have a friend who did this).

Been to Mexico:
Nope; and no desire to do so.

Eaten Sushi:
Many times. Even got food poisoning from it once--that really is not a good time.

Met someone in person from the internet:
Yes. Wasn't too thrilling.

Taken pain-killers:
Yes--though I did avoid them like the plague for a number of years.

Had a tea party:
Never actually hosted one, but I have been at many a tea party at MIT and Princeton. For the record, MIT's tea parties really aren't very good.

Cheated while playing a game:
Only cards--and that's only if you consider stacking the deck cheating.

Fallen asleep at work:
Hell, I have had previous jobs where sleeping on the job was perfectly acceptable provided I did my rounds once an hour. Got the entire building down rounds down to 6 minutes--I was one mean security guard.

Used a fake ID:
Never found the need to do it.

Felt an earthquake:
No--though I have been on the brunt end of a few ugly flash floods in the valleys out here.

Touched a snake:
Hell yes. I may have eaten one also--I don't recall. Damn, I've eaten camels before (China is the place to go if you want to eat anything).

Been robbed:
Yes, though never mugged. And should I ever find the prick who robbed the apartment, hell will be paid.

Petted a reindeer or goat:
Yes and Yes. I also got in a tussle with an Alpaca (he started it). You can't live in Northen Michigan/Wisconsin for long and not be exposed to these things.

Won a contest:
A few. Few scholarships, miscallaneous awards (Kauffman comes to mind).

Been suspended from school:
No--but extremely close a few times.

Been in a car accident:
Couple minor things, nothing too big.

Had braces:
Nope.

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night:
Yup. More accurately, it was some fruitty sorbet.

Witnessed a crime:
A few small things here and there.

Swam in the ocean:
Yes, though there is a reason nobody swims in the Chesakpeake.

Sung karaoke:
Never needed a teleprompter to aid me in making a fool of myself.

Paid for a meal with only coins:
Yes, I have done this. I have also teased my regular waitress by placing her tip under a glass of water (inverted glass--got the tip from Feynman).

Laughed until some beverage came out your nose:
Not pleasant, but yes.

Been kissed under the mistletoe:
Once. 'twas acceptable.

Crashed a party:
A few times. Nothing too severe.

Worn pearls:
No. Should I feel unfulfilled?

Jumped off a bridge:
Yes. And a cliff as well. Yes, living in the U.P., one must find excitement.

Ate dog/cat food:
You make that sound like a bad thing.

Kissed a mirror:
Yup.

Glued your hand to something:
Never intentionally. And not only my hand (remove any American Pie thoughts from your twisted minds).

Done a one-handed cartwheel:
Graceful is not something usually used to describe me.

Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours:
Where the hell would I find the time to do that?

Didn't shower for a week:
Three days is my personal best. When, as a graduate student, you decide to work non-stop in your office and forgo sleep, things like this happen.

Picked an apple off a tree and eaten it:
That is when they are the best. Peaches are great like that too.

Been told by a complete stranger that you are hot:
Oddly enough, yes. What's more is that I was out with my wife at the time--and she was right next to me! Personally, I think this woman was put up for a dare.

Freeform Frustration

2005-11-15T02:46:17Z

Rar! My work has become a new source of frustration; levels of which I have not previously known (and that includes the time I tried to re-write my masters thesis with new analysis in under 10 days). I am currently working on two different, yet equally difficult problems at work. Unfortunately, I am unable to find the solution to the problem. The end result being that I am frustrated all the time now. The worst of this is that my irritation and frustration is spilling over into my home life (which I try very hard to keep entirely seperate from my work--mainly since Chen cannot know the details of my work at any level).
The first project I am on requires me to further an analysis which is being thwarted by two means: 1) lack of information from the community and 2) trying to get details from a very busy individual who is about to go on vacation. However, on the other project, I am tasked with a very important safety issue. The problem is that I have ran a method of solution 7 times now and came up with 7 different answers. There is one solution that I believe is valid, yet I have been waiting over a month for verification numbers to come in. To top that off, trying to solve the problem of photon attenuation across many energy levels becomes damn near impossible when you base your methods off of a handwritten analysis provided by somebody who has absolutely no concept of standard mathematical symbols (I am not joking here--the 'nominal solution' actually does have symbols that do not exist elsewhere).

Frustration is not conducive to solving my problems--it only compounds my current difficulties. The most irritating part is that I know I am very close to having one of my projects entirely completed. At any rate, I know that I will solve the problem very soon, as the alloted time on the project runs out shortly. Huzzah, I get to race against the clock. This is when, for some reason, I actually produce my absolute best work.

Popular Political Physics Phacts

2005-11-10T02:48:53Z

Tyring to stay abreast of the news will bring along its fair share of annoyances (specifically with what constitiutes news). But, there is always the two topics that begin to really churn my butter (and I will emphatically declare that my butter needs no further churning). For any of my friends who actually spend the time to wade through this, I do apologize for the rather unpleasant venting. It has been building up, and my wife is tired of hearing me bitch about this topic.

The first topic that I am most irritated to continue see being posted in the news is Global Warming! Yes, Global Warming, the evil villain that, should you pause in your observace, will sneak into your house at night, knock up your daughter, make off with your jewelry and neuter your dog. Of course, I jest here; but I do have some valid points of irritation that are supported with a proper education in the field. This isn't to say that a true Global Warming episode wouldn't be dangerous, it very well could be, but that many of the doomsayers have their own political motives and everybody likes to take a different perspective on the science when they report it to the media.

I spent 3 years studying Atmospheric & Oceanic Sciences--which is just a glamorous way of saying that I did what my advisor told me to do. And when your advisor thinks that all global phenomena are driven by ENSO (El Nino Southern Oscillation), then you tend to see things with many specific (rather than general) connections to Global Climate Change. However, I was not very thrilled with the approach that was taken, specifically with the fact that the general thoughts were motivated by politics (i.e. who pays the grant money?). As such, I have tried to assemble my thoughts into semi-cogent articulated points.
1) First, let's get this right out in the open: the entire scientific community is not in agreement. There are many individuals who, when faced with the general question of Global Warming, would respond "I think it is an interesting theory, but more work needs to be done before any definitive answer can be given." There is a distinct difference between natural and anthropogenic--something that is frequently left out of public reports.

2) Models are a dime a dozen. Actually, they cost more than that, but you get the general idea. The work that is needed in order to make a functioning general climate model is beyond the comprehension of most people. These things are so fiercly complex and are filled with so many simplifying assumptions it is insane. But, ignoring that the science alone is enough to cripple most people who work on the damn things; the evaluation of the models is even worse. It is, quite truthfully, impossible to solve the models by hand. As such, the models must be discretized for computer use. However, when one considers that the planet has poles (something that the computers choke on), we begin to have problems (and yes, the poles are very important in the actual science). Furthermore, many models are parallelized (I know of only one model that is vectorized--and that has a whole host of other problems), requiring that there exist certain breaks in the geometry for passing in the parallel modelling. This has the interesting feature of creating errors on the order of 400% at the junctions. In order to get the models to run in a reasonable time-frame (i.e. under two months), the resolution needs to be quite coarse (225km x 112.5km grid cells). There are a lot of things going on in there that are simply lost.

3) Spin-Up. Climate models require a long time to run before they reach the necessary equilibrium that is required to being an experiment. For my ocean modelling, I needed to run a steady-state forcing for over 5,000 years before the circulation did not change--and I was using a simplified small case. These large models require substantial run-up time to reach the necessary "present day" (actually about 1975) to begin any climate experiments. When people recognize that Climate is a boundary-condition problem (weather is an initial-value problem), we see that the errors in any beginning of the run-up propogate through the iterations and become ingrained in the "steady-state." This is a huge problem when one considers:

4) Uncertainty. With so much uncertainty what physical effects are necessary to be reproduced in a model, there exists far too much that we don't know in order to make any definitive statement about what is or what isn't happening. I observed a conversation between two emminent professors regarding a presentation of a model result.
Prof 1: "We can use this location to show the generalized Milankovich forcing on the precipitation"
Prof 2: "Uh, no. We can't. The model has 400% error from observed effects there."

Prof 1: "Oh. Well, we will just use this other spot. It only has 300% error."

Sadly, this is not unusual. When one becomes resigned to the fact that we may never understand all the physics that is necessary in a model for realistic climate reproduction, one begins to care less about how far off the results are. The biggest, fastest computer models mean absolutely shit if they can't accurately reproduce anything.

5) Politics. As much as they would like to think themselves immune to the effects of politcal hand-waving, the professors are still in need for grant money. And one of the surest ways of getting a grant from the DOE or NSF are to hit the buzzwords du jour and harp on how much we can properly assess the effects of anthropogenic greenhouse emmisions on climate forcing. I once saw in a taped interview where a professor looked directly at the interviewer and unabashadly stated "I'll make the numbers come out any way you want as long as your paying me." Yes, academic integrity does take a backseat to the politics of getting the grant.

For these reasons (and few others), I could not stomach remaining in that program for a PhD. I took my Masters and hauled ass. That, and I have found out from working at my current position that I am a far better engineer than I was ever a scientist (though I still can recognize good science).

My Insane Wife

2005-11-05T20:01:46Z

This morning: my dearest wife woke up before me (for whatever reason) and was playing with her newsgroups online. Apparently coming across something interesting regarding some novel interview questions designed to probe the individuals analytical abilities, she begins to read and become further interested. However, her background in some of the mathematical processes isn't as strong as she'd like, and so she comes into the bedroom and begins to see if I can answer them. I was still sleeping at the time, but such inconsequential things such as that are irrelevant when she gets something in her sights.

The following conversation ensues:

Chen: "I have a funny math problem, see if you can figure it out"
Me: "Huh? No pancakes today."

Chen: "If you are playing Russian Roulette with some dude: The gun has six chambers, two bullets are in the gun in adjacent chambers. The dude shoots and nothing happens. Is it better for you to spin the chambers, or just shoot?"
Me: "Huh? Oh, just shoot."

Chen: "Why? What is the probability difference?"
Me: " 1/3 Chance you die if you spin; 1/4 if you don't. Zzzzz"

Yes, we really are nerds. She's a much hotter nerd than I, but nerds all the same.

Of course, this is insufficient to satisfy her: so I needed to begin a nice discussion with her on the nuances of conditional probability. I think she has a firm grasp on it after I gave her one of the standard examples (Look below for the example if you are nerdy enough to be interested).

Her next two problems included me giving a nice treatise on geometric series and all the gory fun that those entail. Yes, I am the Uber Nerd.

---------------------------------------
**Nerdy Conditional Probabilty Example:

I have two children (and only two). It is eqully likely of having a boy as having a girl. If my first child is a boy, what is the probability of having two boys?

Yes, the answer is 1/3.

Feel the Burn

2005-11-05T03:12:10Z

Training for a marathon hurts. It tends to hurt even more when you are constantly training on some very large hills (as we live in the middle of some unpleasant hills). Of course, my primary motivation for training for a marthon is not the marathon itself, but more of a longer term project to help get my body into better shape; one where "doughy" is not the descriptor of choice. I put on a wee bit too much weight in the past couple of years--and with the lack of a steady racquetteball partner (my game of choice), I have found it difficult to keep the weight off. I decided that establishing a firm, long term goal would be the perfect way to achieve my desired changes. Running in the next Baltimore marathon will help keep me focused, and it is a nice goal to accomplish. At any rate--distance running is helping me get into better shape.

Various Thoughts

2005-10-25T00:16:59Z

Some random bits of thoughts occuring over the past couple of days.

--Working on projects which require information that you cannot have is not fun. It can be quite frustrating for all people involved when the only constant answer you can get involves the words "secured" and "you don't have access to that." Yeah, great. I could simply invent the numbers, but that probably won't fly with the program managers.

--I was listening to an internet radio station at work today and an advertisment for an opera production came on. Not really paying attention to which opera is being discussed, the announcer made one comment that caught my attention and forced a laugh "...and because it's opera, you know it isn't going to work out for the man." OK, so I thought is was funny. Oh, woe is me.

--Though I do appreciate the capacity in which they function, I do not appreciate the county police sending many a helicopter over my apartment. Though I do recognize that there is a need for them when the perpetrator of several sexual assaults and/or rapes is on the loose, I must question the need for these aerial persuits for three consecutive days.

--Not thinking it was possible, I have grown to hate the customer service morons at Verizon even further. Experiencing trouble with my DSL modem (I need to configure the software internally--which it won't let me), I call up Verizon and ask them to assist me. After several reassurances that yes, I did in fact want to work on the modem and not the Verizon interface, I simply decided it would be easier if I asked them to do the two things I needed:
Me: "OK. How about this: I need you to enable a static NAT and open port 502 for all connections"
Verizon: "Oh, you don't want to open a port. You could be infected by all these viruses"
Me: "No, that is why I have a firewall allowing only a single program to access port 502"
Verizon: "But opening a port is just going to cause problems on your system"
Me (after a rather impatient sigh): "You have no idea how to do it, do you?"
Verizon: "....."

Yeah, I enjoy these people.

Potatoes, Apples and Spices. Oh My.

2005-10-19T13:36:28Z

Since I have received more than one request for my recipes involving Thanksgiving-ish food, I decided that it would be far easier if I simply posted my recipes here and let people wander to it at their leisure.

***Spiced Apples***

This is used for 4 - 5 people (possibly more depending on what else you are serving). If you are planning this for a large group, it would be adventageous for you to test the recipe first, find your prefered balance with it, and then adjust accordingly to the size of your dinner party.

4 - 5 large Granny Smith Apples (if intended to use as a dessert, can substitute Golden Delicious, but must reduce cooking time)
2 Tbsp Butter
1/2 Cup Raisins (Can substitute/compliment with nuts--walnuts work great)
1.5 - 2 cups Water
1 Cup Sugar (Reduce to 1/2 - 2/3 cup if using Golden Delicious)
1/4 tsp. Salt
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Allspice (if available)

*Note; In use for a Thanksgiving dish, I have found that adding 1/2 tsp Nutmeg helps to balance the flavor towards the theme of Thanksgiving style dinner.

As prep: peel, core and slice the apples (I recommend 8 slices per apples). It is in your best interest to have a lemon here. If you are using a Golden Delicious, you needn't be shy with the lemon juice as the natural sweetness is not easily tarnished by lemon juice; but you need to be careful with the Granny Smith apples, as it is very easy to make them a bit too sour. Peeling, slicing and tossing them with light lemon juice in a non-reactive bowl is by far the easiest way to accomplish this.

Cooking:
In a medium (2 qt) saucepan, melt the butter (I prefer to add salt here).
Add and saute the apples for 5 minutes over medium heat.
Stir in Raisins/Nuts and spices (Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Allspice)
Add water and Increase heat to high--bring to boil.
Once mixture is boiling, add the sugar and reduce heat to Medium-Low.
Simmer this mixture for 10 minutes (7 minutes is sufficient for Golden Delicious) or until the liquid is sufficiently reduced.

This dish is can easily be made in advance (1-3 days), but reheating may prove unweildy. Due to the cooking procedure, the apples are already soft (though they retain some body). I find that microwaving has the detrimental effect of softening an already soft food. This is avoided by reheating in a casserole type dish in the oven. Of course, if you are doing this for Thanksgiving, your oven may very well be occupied with other dishes, at wich point the microwave is your best option.
As for making large portions: Instead of simply multiplying the recipe to match the desired dinner party serving and making everything together, it may be easier to make this in batches (3-4 batches would be sufficient for a group of up to 20).

***Twice-Baked Potatoes***

This is a dish which I am asked to make quite often as my wife absolutely adores it. It requires very little in the way of ingredients, but does require a little forethought lest you find yourself with a rather burned hand and shredded potato (trust me--I've done this enough times to tell you this hurts). There are several varients on this dish, all of which are quite good. I will leave it up to you to decide which is the best way for you.

I am listing this for 4 people (it is directly scalable to any number)
This dish can be easily made well in advance (and probably is better that way, as you would have more time to focus on it). This does require the oven to reheat (and actually, the second baking phase can be held off until you want to serve this dish).

Ingredients:

3 Large baking potatoes (Russet or the like are ideal)
Milk (I never really measure here: just go with what it needs--but it probably is around 1 - 1.5 cups)
3 - 4 Tbsp Butter (can use more or less depending on taste)
2 tsp salt
1 tsp Black pepper
1 tsp Cayenne pepper (Add balance to dish, but can be ignored if so desired)
1 - 2 tsp Garlic Powder
Alternitavely (and for far more flavor, use 1 clove fresh roasted garlic--ask if you need to know how)

Optional Ingredients (highly recommended):

2 Cups shredded Cheddar or similar Cheese (Sharp cheddar is best)
1 - 2 Cups chopped Broccoli Florets, (Frozen is acceptable, Fresh is best).

Prep:
In the course of washing the potatoes, it is imperative that you do not scratch the skin surface. If you rip open any portion of the skin, you will need to be careful when slicing later (make sure that you cut directly down the ripped surface). This will allow you to use that potato here while maintaining the nice appearance of the potatoes (if done correctly, this dish has a very nice visual appearance).

Cooking:
Preheat the oven to 350
Place the potatoes on a baking sheet and place in the oven (do not wrap the potatoes in aluminum foil)
Bake potatoes for about an hour (or until soft inside). As a general rule of thumb, it is very difficult to burn a potato from simple baking. As such, slightly longer baking time is far more preferable to slightly less time (and the quality will be substantially improved if you follow this rule of thumb).
Once the potatoes are baked, the fun part begins. Remove the potatoes from the oven and turn it off--you won't need it again for a while.
Cut each potato in half lengthwise (recalling if you have any tears in the skin to cut through the tear).
Take a table knife (or other dull tipped knife) and score each potato (about 1.5 cm deep in the center), being very careful not to cut through the skin. Score the potato surface in both directions (making a grid on the surface).
**This is a rather difficult process as the potatoes are extremely hot, but you cannot delay this process. I find that holding each potato-half in a towel or clean oven mitt works very well here.**
Once you have scored the potato-halves, take a spoon (a soup spoon is preferable to a soup spoon, but not critical) and CAREFULLY spoon the potato out of the potato skins into a large (non-reactive if possible) bowl. It is far preferable to leave a little extra potato on the skin rather than rip the skin trying to remove all the potato (it is very easy to rip the skin near the cut). Put the skin back on the baking sheet.
Place the butter (and cheese) in the bowl early (allow it to melt).
Once you have removed all the potato from the skins, add remaining ingredients (and broccoli if desired) and slowly add milk as you mash the potatoes--you should get a nice creamy mixture.

After mashing the potatoes, it is necessary to reform the skins for the second baking. Depending on how much potato you removed from the skin, the skins may be very weak. I recommend taking aluminum foil and making a "form" to hold the skins into the desired shape for the next baking. Really, take a piece of foil that would be large enough to wrap an whole potato, place it under the skin and fold back the excess to stiffen the sides.

Once you have all your skins ready, being spooning the mashed potato mixture into the skins. There should be a gentle mounding of the mixture in each skin.

At this point, you can wrap and place the potato/skins in the refridgerator for a day or two. Just remember to take them out of the refridgerator for at least 30 minutes prior to the second baking.

**Second Baking**

With an oven heated to 400 - 425, place the potato/skins on your baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes (or until surface begins to golden). If done correctly, the exterior should be slightly crispy with the interior smooth and creamy--a delight of textural differeces.

In fact, I am making these tonight, and I will photograph things step-by-step for clarification. In all honesty, once you figure out a few tricks, this isn't a hard dish to prepare.

**True to my word, here is the progress from tonight's preparation: (Twice Baked Potatoes)
The first photo shows the scoring pattern suggested. This enables easier removal of the potato from the skin. The second photo shows the potato skins after I had removed the potato. I intentionally left a bit of potato near the cut--this helps to prevent tearing of the skin. The third photo shows the suggested level to which you refill the potatoes. To form the aluminum shells, I simply took a large square of aluminum foil and used my fist as a form. The fourth photo shows after baking (about 17 minutes at 425). Two of the potatoes did not require the use of the aluminum shell (top two), and the other two that did not use the aluminum shell, but needed it (bottem left and bottom right) resulted in a spill-over. Though this is not a critical failure, it is easily avoidable with the aluminum forms.

I hope this serves you all well. If anybody wants further recipes, let me know and I will do my best to help you.

I've got crabs!

2005-10-16T01:27:24Z

I knew when I moved to Maryland that crabs were a rather important part of the state's economy, as well as part of its identity. Not only that, but the market we use for produce has exceptionally cheap live crabs. Chen has also been enjoying fresh crabs once a week for the entire season (which runs from mid/late March until early/mid November). Even the state's web page boasts "Maryland Crab Soup" recipes. I like crabs as much as the next guy, but crabs are more than a way of life here--they're downright an obsession. Crab images on every damned thing. It is also impossible to go more than one block in downtown Baltimore without seeing one these goofy crab sculpture things (here).

However, in light of all this (and along with my ever bearing attempt to better things in myself), I have taken it upon myself to try new cooking styles (my ultimate goal being to figure out those things I had at the Rancho de Chimayo). Anyway, I have been experimenting a bit in the kitchen, with the only consistent result being my stock of good herbs/spices are rapidly being depleted (I am probably at the point where I need to get some more--but I am unusally picky about certain herbs/spices). Of course, my environment does play into my decisions of spice use. You see, I live all of 4 miles away from the McCormick spice plant, and am actually required to drive right next to the entire spice and condiment complex to get to work; this has the effect of playing with the senses (nutmeg/cinamon=good morning, loads of chili powder=bad).

Either way, I'd like to think I am getting some good things out there; and I have decided that this week will be Potato Week. I will run the usual winners for Chen (scalloped, twice baked,...) and see if anything piques our interest. I will more than happy to post any recipes and photos of the dishes if anyone is interested.

mandlebrot @ 2005-10-14T22:51:00

2005-10-15T02:52:37Z

mandlebrot may explode without warning

M
EXPLOSIVE

From Go-Quiz.com

And using my wife:

LOOK OUT!
��

chen is a radioactive squirrel!!

From Go-Quiz.com

Interesting Thoughts

2005-10-14T16:55:29Z

Well, perhaps not so interesting. Just some things that were brought the forefront of my mind.

-Calculating anything from Neutron fluences sucks something hardcore. I'm not just saying it is difficult (it is), but apparently every damned reference book availble goes out of their way to say "neener neener neener, ya hoser!" I am working on a problem that deals with plutonium. I need information, and can't find it! What was my first refernce of choice? The Plutonium Handbook--those bastards can bite my ass.

-Virginian Beavers are not friendly. I shall explain. A couple weeks ago, I was golfing in Virginia with a good friend. Playing our version of gentlemen's rules (i.e. we both suck something fierce but we decide that making things tougher on ourselves is far more enjoyable--"what do you mean, unplayable lie?"), I take my drive and try to carry a small river. Thinking that I actually had carried it, we went to get my next shot only to find that my ball had landed squarely on the top of a beaver lodge (play it where she lies, Homer). I can now say that I know the sound made by an irate beaver (and I swear the damned thing followed me for the next 8 holes).

-Madison protesters are pansies. My final year at Wisconsin, I worked as both a research assistant and a teaching assistant (my research advisor was apparently tired of paying me). So, I "taught" a lecture on general meteorology/climatology geared for about 200 general students (for their science requirement). The way things work at the University of Wisconsin: TA's are officially unionized, whereas RA's are left alone. The TA's were bitching about wanting more money or health care (it actually was pretty good coverage already) and were threatening a strike (which was actually forbidden in the collective bargaining agreeement). So, they went on their happy little strike, picketting many a classrooms and buildings. Oddly enough, they denounced the actual undergrads as 'scabs' for attending classes (that one still confuses me). I go on to class to do my job (as I agreed to do), and some third-rate protester tries to tell me that I am a fundamentally bad person (yes-I am deliciously evil that way; eviscerate the proletariat!). I believe that I began to stare him down (I was tired and not really in the mood to dick around with these twits). He scampered off quickly and, upon meeting up with his hippy brethren, began wild gesticulations to indicate my lack of solidarity.

-Northwest Airlines needs a good bitch slap (except the people in Albuquerque--they're pretty cool). A few months ago, I had to go to Los Alamos, New Mexico for a week (nice place to live if you enjoy everything looking orange). I fly into Albuquerque, get my rental car, drive the 90 minutes to Los Alamos and check in. Incidentally, for any people heading down that way, when they post a speed limit around a curve on the cliff-side, they are not joking (I almost got to see the downhill area up close and personal). After I'm done with my schtick at the National Lab, I need to head back to Albuquerque for my mid-morning flight. Being the ever-anal guy that I am, I arrive something like an hour and half early, only to find that United (my original carrier) had canceled my flight to Denver. Instead, the kind man helped me and booked me on a Northwest flight to Minnesota. But I have only 15 minutes to haul my ass across the airport to the Northwest counter (exact opposite side of airport), get my new ticket and get through security. I get my new boarding pass (and she staples only one of the canceled tickets onto the new ticket) and I then proceed to hit security. I got to the gate for my flight and found the last of the people now boarding the plane (with the counter lady now acting as the gate attendent--just how freaking much is Northwest trying to cut back!). We get into Minnesota, only to find that my connection was overbooked. Yay--I'm in my happy mood (you know, about 2pm, no food, and tired). When the agent at the counter finally calls me up (he kept sending people away for fear that he may actually have to work), he proceeeds to tell me that I fucked up in Albuquerque because my Northwest ticket to Baltimore didn't have the accompanying canceled United Ticket attached. Of course, not wanting to spend the remainder of the day inspecting the interior of a Minneapolis jail cell, I found it prudent to not reach across the counter and inflict bodily harm. Instead, I simply raised my voice sufficiently to sound threatening (without actually saying anything threatening) while countering all his claims that I apparently screwed the pooch. After I had boarded the plane, the passengers who came aboard after me all thanked me for the wonderful show I had given them. Quite a few of them were actually laughing.
Now, Northwest is dicking around with our tickets to Hawaii in December--things like leaving 35 minute layovers in San Fransisco and 40 minutes in Detroit. I explain this to the lady on the phone to which she responds "Well, with the monorail in Detroit, 40 minutes is more than enough." WTF? I did get it all changed, so I think everything is cool now (provided that we get our car in Hawaii).

You win again, Gravity!

2005-10-13T22:20:17Z

Sometimes I wish I had a Cockney accent. There are some people who tend to congregate beneath my windows at 2 or 3 am (you know, during the time I typically sleep). I keep having visions of yelling down to them "Piss off, you grubby little wankers!" Fine, it sounds funny to me, and that keeps the snarling beast who wants to severly injure them at bay.

I was at work today trying desperately to find the right conversions to make all my numbers happy and powers that be pleased. Of course, I can only due to much until the British decide that the book I want (at a price of damn near $1/page--but it's not my money) will finally get shipped to my work. Until then, I am looking through some previous works that go into such gory detail as to the nature of the Gubment's work on maximum allowable gonad irradation. Well, to be fair, they did focus onle on the male gonads (though I am not certain that this makes things better). Then again, I shouldn't be so suprised about this when I found it so difficult to find the simple information of the rotation parameter due to the birefrengence of turpentine, yet every damned reference book was boasting the coefficient of static and kinetic friction between wood table surface and semen. Is this a dire need for anybody? Semen and tables? WTF?